It's Been Awhile
by Utter Darkness
Summary: Squall realizes the answer to his problems surrounding Rinoa's death.


It's been awhile  
Since I could hold my head up high  
And it's been awhile since I first saw you  
And it's been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet again  
And it's been awhile since I could call you  
But everything I can't remember  
It's fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've stretched myself beyond my means  
  
Squall sat on his bed crying, that's all he had done for awhile. Occasionally he would reach out to the spot on the bed right next to him, as if to touch something that wasn't there and would never be there again. He had a small smile on his face as he remembered the way he used to wake up and Rinoa would be right there, looking at him with a large smile on her face. Squall could almost feel her hand on his cheek, her lips to his, and her angelic voice. Every morning she would kiss him and whisper in his ear, "My Sleeping Beauty." Squall would never have that again, never, he lashed out at nothing. "NEVER!" he screamed, he started crying again. He wanted to join her so much, but he was to afraid. He could fight the most powerful sorceress of all time but he feared death.  
  
It's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted  
And it's been awhile since I could say I love myself as well  
And it's been awhile since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do  
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you  
But everything I can't remember  
It's fucked up as it all may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've gone and fucked things up again  
Why must I feel this way  
Just make this go away  
Just one more peaceful day  
  
Squall got some clothes on and walked out of his dorm, holding back his tears as best he could. He trudged up to the elevator, pressed the button for the third floor and waited for the elevator to make its way up. He stepped out into the hallway leading to cockpit, he got scared and turned back to the elevator to go back down, but the doors were closed and the elevator was off to a different floor. He gathered his courage and walked up to the small elevator leading to the cockpit. When he reached it, everyone saluted him and Nida asked him where he wanted to go. He told her the location of a small island in the north-east corner of the world. He stepped out onto the small island and spotted many dangerous looking creatures. He looked around at the creatures until he spotted what he had been looking for.  
  
It's been awhile since I could look at myself straight  
And it's been awhile since I've said I'm sorry  
And it's been awhile since I've seen the way that candles light your face  
But I can still remember just the way you taste  
But everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem to be  
I know it's me  
I can not blame this on my father  
He did the best he could for me  
  
He started walking toward a very large ruby-red dragon, his Lionheart in hand. He walked right in front of the beast and positioned himself in a fighting stance, ready to let all his frustration into one killing blow. But just before he was about to strike he saw the dragon, instead of lunging at him like so many others, but cowering at the blade that had killed so many others of its kind. "How many more creatures must ide before I'm okay again, until all my frustation has left me?" he thought to himself. Then the answer popped into his head, he took his blade and gathering all the strength he could muster he flung it toward the ocean. The blade made a soft splash as it hit, then started to sink towads the bottom, Squall slowly opened his arms and through back his head toward the sky, as if welcoming it o him. The dragon was puzzled at first but then it was almost as if an evil grin crept over its face. It took in as much air as possible then released the loudest roar it could make, accompanied by a huge fireball, Squall had only a split second to think, "None, that's the answer."  
  
It's been awhile since I could hold my head up high  
And It's been awhile since I've said I'm sorry.  
  
  



End file.
